The naked truth about the life of women without hair

Author: Tatiana Kirsanova

They look like aliens. Big eyes, naked head and the same naked soul. To injure her is as easy as shelling pears: a careless word or a curious look is enough. The general diagnosis made them almost indistinguishable. From afar. Close up, they are completely different: each has its own face, its own character, its own destiny. Like everyone else, they want happiness. But it turned out that the way to it lies through losses. Hair first, then yourself. To obtain the latter, it was required to remove the mask. More precisely, a wig. After all, he hides his bald head from others, and from them – life itself.

“You will recognize me immediately. I’m the only one here – brilliant, – Marina jokes, agreeing on the meeting point at the Sheremetyevo airport. – Wow, literally intercepted in the air. I’m leaving today. At least a year, ideally forever. ”

It turned out that Marina was flying to her own wedding. To the distant American state of Texas. According to her, she met her fiancé, Fernando, when she had already parted with her hair, including artificial ones. “You see, I was able to open up to a new feeling only by taking off my wig. I finally stopped being afraid, shy, hiding. I stopped depending on stereotypes and other people’s opinions. I felt confidence in myself and my own attractiveness again. And that’s when I met true love. Oddly enough, the first one ”.

“I am a Muscovite, but as a child I lived for several years in the Tver region, in the village of Zavidovo,” says the interlocutor. “There, in a local nature reserve, my dad worked as a veterinarian.” One day the girl woke up in the middle of the night and found that she was alone at home. Her mother was then a student; she often left for Moscow to study. The father was sometimes called to the service at inopportune hours. It happened at night.

“There was a misfortune with some animal, and daddy left on the sly. And I suddenly woke up, saw that there was no one at home, I was terribly frightened, – Marina recalls that case. – It seems to me that the stress experienced was the impetus for the onset of the disease. At least, the first foci were soon discovered. “

Over the next seven years, hair fell out in places, then grew back. However, at the age of 16, the girl completely lost her hair. Forever and ever.

Hair is worth its weight in gold

From that moment on, a wig appeared in Marina’s life. It took six months to make the first one. All this time she sat at home, without getting out.

“In those years, wigs were made in post-production workshops. They were worth fabulous money. To be cheaper, you had to find your own hair. I remember my mother’s friends brought us the braids of their daughters. “

Marina waited for the first wig as a deliverance. I thought, putting it on, would become the same again – charming and carefree. But the reality turned out to be sadder.

“Having hoisted this hair structure on my head for the first time, I lost my peace forever,” the interlocutor admits. “There was no question of relaxing at least for a minute: the wig, attached to the head with rubber bands, constantly strove to move to one side, or even fly off altogether.”

“You see, a person who wears a wig is sure that no one notices this. Say, having attached such a hair cap on his head, he becomes the same as everyone else. People think that by buying a wig, they acquire the right to a normal life. In reality, however, they get a stable psychosis. “

After school, Marina entered the philology department. After graduating from it, I decided to become a journalist. “The fact is that alopecia is not my only problem: I also stuttered a lot,” she says. – In order to challenge all the complexes at once, I chose a public profession that involves constant communication. So I ended up on the radio. ”

At first, the aspiring radio journalist avoided live broadcasts, preferring to record programs in the studio. However, the stuttering decreased, then disappeared altogether. Thus, Marina managed to solve one of the problems. From the second one had to live until the end of days. And it was necessary to learn this.

“Since I lost my hair, I have been hiding it carefully. From all of us. At first, only my parents knew my worst secret. Then it was accidentally revealed to school friends. During our pajama party we had a pillow fight. One well-aimed blow left me bareheaded: the wig flew away with the pillow. The girls were stunned at first, and then we all burst out laughing. But in the end, I still took an oath from them never to tell anyone about it. “

Also, for the time being, her boyfriends did not know how Marina really looks. For example, the future father of his daughter first saw his beloved without hair, only when they began to live together. “And even then not right away,” laughs Marina. – The wig flew off me one night, right during the joys of love. She herself could not admit that she was bald. It was akin to suicide. I thought as soon as a man finds out the truth, he will immediately leave her.

But most importantly, keeping her secret, she did not give free rein to her feelings. “I deliberately chose someone worse as a bridegroom, so as not to become addicted to the soul. I was sure that sooner or later everything would be revealed, and I would have to part. I sincerely believed that none of the normal people would fall in love with a bald one. “

Marina lived under the sword of Damocles of exposure for nearly 20 years. All these years I was every minute afraid that now everyone would find out about everything. “I reached the point of no return when I turned 35. Then I was already working on television, as a producer. Once, returning from the shooting, I caught a wig on the car door. I caught it on the fly, quickly put it back on, but I couldn’t look my colleagues anymore. All day I waited for the rumor to spread and our witches would reward me with an insulting epithet. ”

On that day, having come home, Marina understood: it was impossible to live like this anymore. And she decided to come out of the shadows. Get rid of sticky fear, boring lies.

“I took a vacation and went to Italy. With a friend who didn’t have to pretend to be. On the streets of Rome, I first appeared with a bare head. At first she shuddered from every direct glance and occasional laugh behind her back. And then I realized: by and large, others do not care how I look. They have a lot of worries without me. And suddenly it became so easy for me! For the first time in many years. “

“Having bare her head,” Marina tried to reshape her own destiny. She began to study psychology. I understood: this is her vocation. I mastered the basics of life coaching. I began to apply my knowledge in practice. “Five years ago I suddenly thought: it would be nice to find friends in misfortune. Find out how they live, and, if necessary, help. I looked for information on the Internet, found several closed communities where the girls communicated in the strictest secrecy, so that, God forbid, they did not find themselves. “